Aquae excerpt #4

If there’s an upside to my not blogging hardly at all in the past month, it’s that all most of my blogging time has been devoted to my WIP (the rest to summer classes and the Stanley Cup playoffs). The second draft of Aquae is now over 30,000 words long. Here’s another excerpt for your enjoyment—at least, I hope it’s for your enjoyment! (Nb: the protagonist is now sixteen rather than ten.)

Column

The Forum lay gray and quiet under the snow. The booths and tables for the displaying of wares and the pens for animals and slaves were cleared away now, the streets empty save for the odd huddled figure hurrying along on his or her own business, head bowed against the wind, too preoccupied to pay me any heed. But the store-fronts were lit warmly golden against the gray, and the rumor of voices and laughter carried on the wind out through the door of Celso’s wine cellar. I left Nesta in the alley which twisted away behind Celso’s and I went on foot down the row to the jeweler’s and stood uncertainly just inside the doorway while the tall dark slave girl who’d been sweeping out the snow went to fetch her master from the back of the shop. Gold and silver and copper gleamed coldly in the lamp-light all round me: ear-drops and rings and necklaces in the Roman fashion, here and there a red-enameled piece of native work, or a local god togaed and laurel-wreathed in Roman fashion and looking rather glum about it.

The jeweler came to meet me, wending his way importantly round the tables. The slave girl followed him. She seemed resentful I’d interrupted her work: she stood glaring at me over his shoulder, gripping her broom like a weapon.

“Well?” said the jeweler, reaching me.

He was shorter than I, bird-like and bony, his gray hair and beard and brows wispy as swifts’ nests. He blinked up at me beady-eyed. For a moment I blinked back down at him, my mouth half open, taken aback at his brusqueness, and his straggly brows shot up as though he couldn’t believe my insolence. “Have you come here to gape like a fish? What’s your business, boy?”

“I—I’ve a piece to sell,” I said.

Under the weight of his critical eyes I drew the calfskin pouch from my tunic with unsteady hands. I loosened the drawstring and shook out the arm-ring and held it out to him wordlessly. He took it gingerly, careful not to touch me, as though there were some deadly poison might leach through my skin. He studied the ring, turning it round and round in his knobby hands. I saw his small, shrewd eyes going back and forth as he read the inscription. He looked sharply back to me.

“Who’s your master, boy?”

Clarity shot through me like a lightning bolt.

“No,” I said, “no, I’m not a—I mean, it’s mine. It was given me.”

“Given you, was it? By whom?”

“My father gave it me. That’s his name on it: Marius Cassius Viator. He’s a centurion with the garrison at Isca.”

“Your father,” said the jeweler. His black eyes were running all over my face. His fingers had closed tightly round the ring. “He gave it you and told you to sell it, did he? I’m not a fool, boy. You’ve taken this of your master and slipped off.”

“I didn’t take it,” I said, “and he’s my father.” Julius’ voice echoed at the back of my mind: but you’ve no way to prove it. Do you think he’d claim you before a court?

The jeweler said, “You’re of the Red People.”

“My mother was,” I said. “My father’s Roman. Shall I explain to you how—”

“You need explain nothing.” The jeweler’s voice was flat. “I understand. You took your master’s gold and ran. I understand it perfectly well.”

“Give it back if you don’t want it,” I said. I tried to say it carelessly, but fear was pounding in my chest now: he could have me down to the prison and the truth wrung out of me—whichever truth he wanted to hear, dependent upon how many drinks he bought the guard. A night in the questioning chamber and I’d say anything they wished me to say.

The thought had occurred to him, too, because he turned all at once to the slave girl and gestured sharply to the doorway.

“Bring Marcus, girl. He’s down to the wine shop. You—” he added to me, as the girl slipped past me and out into the street— “You stay where you are, do you hear? I’ll have—”

But I was already moving, my legs driven by sudden panic. I heeled and ducked through the doorway and broke into a frenzied run soon as I was clear, sluggishly for the piled snow. For a moment the jeweler’s voice was carried away behind me on the wind whipping down the row; then he was out in the street after me, yelling, brandishing the ring in his upraised fist. I overtook the girl, who’d turned to look back at her master’s shouting, and darted past her down into the alley just as a knot of men, roused from their wine bowls by the commotion, tumbled out from Celso’s.

All the old familiar places

As much as I dislike the old adage “write what you know” for the constrictions it places upon writers’ imaginations, in one sense it’s not bad advice at all. As a writer of historical fiction, it’s vital that I have a solid grasp of the context in which I’m writing. A lot of my research will never make it into the novel, of course—I’m writing fiction, not a doctoral thesis. But it’s research I need to do regardless so that my setting feels fully fleshed out and real, the plot appropriate to the setting. In this sense, writing from what I know is a good thing.

But there’s a danger involved, as I’m finding out with my current work-in-progress. To a certain extent Aquae is a very different animal from His Own Good Sword. It’s a fairy-tale retelling, and it’s more typically “historical fantasy”—that is, it’s set in an actual historical time and place (1st-century Roman Britain, to be exact), but with fantastic elements (the main character has supernatural powers). But because His Own Good Sword was set in a psuedo-Roman world, I’ve found that I can recycle a lot of my old worldbuilding research and apply it to Aquae.

The problem is that it’s all too easy to recycle not only research but also dialogue and character mannerisms and turns of descriptive phrase and even the general pattern the plot follows in each chapter. Some of this is probably just a symptom of Second-Novel Syndrome; if I were writing a post-apocalyptic zombie romance as my second novel I’d still probably experience much the same thing. But there are several similarities between Aquae and His Own Good Sword, and not just stylistic similarities. Broadly speaking, it deals with many of the same things thematically: it’s a coming-of-age story; the main character’s relationship with his father is a major part of it. I find myself expressing those themes in the exact same way I did in His Own Good Sword, virtually cutting and pasting relationship dynamics. On a more technical level, I find myself writing descriptive passages that are nearly identical to descriptive passages from His Own Good Sword. I subconsciously model characters on characters from His Own Good Sword because they fill similar roles in the world of the story. It’s just so much easier to go back to preexisting templates than to come up with fresh new ones, especially for minor characters.

Some of it may perhaps be excused, since the world of His Own Good Sword was in fact intended to feel Romano-British. It’s inevitable that Aquae will bear some resemblance to it, especially in the department of trifling historical details. (The cuisine in Aquae very much resembles that described in His Own Good Sword.) But most of it is probably laziness on my part. Aquae and His Own Good Sword are very different stories, but I’m having to be constantly on my guard to make sure I don’t keep slipping back onto familiar ground.

Aquae excerpt #3

I haven’t been doing these lately, and I should have been, because it’s really the best way to keep myself accountable. So here’s a snippet from the third chapter of my work-in-progress, Aquae. Positive feedback is always welcome! (For more about the story itself, check out this page.)

Column

Julius’ voice broke suddenly through my thoughts. He was speaking in a way I knew to be dangerous: half smiling, but with a cool steel edge underlying his words, wielded precisely as a weapon.

“Keep your ledger straight, Gaius, and you’ve nothing to fear. I’m sure that’ll prove no difficulty for you.”

“He doesn’t want men who keep straight ledgers, Gallio,” said Gaius, who was an old man with a wreath of white hair circling his eggish head like a nest. There was a broad purple stripe running along the edge of his toga. He was facing me across the vast expanse of tables, but his beady eyes were turned to Julius, and I supposed Julius was the recipient of his scowl, too. His voice was surprisingly strong. “What does it matter if the ledgers are straight, so long as the men who keep them are loyal to him?”

“Are you not?” said Julius, swiftly as a lash, still smiling his knife-blade smile.

“I should hope,” said Gaius, undaunted, “that my loyalty entails more than my ledger-keeping.”

“I should hope so, too,” said Julius.

For a moment they looked at each other in silence over their dishes, and the talk running round the rest of the room seemed to draw back from them like a wave from shore, leaving everything cold and bare in its wake. Gaius lifted his chin a little. Julius was still. He wasn’t smiling now.

Beside me, my father stirred himself as though he’d just woken from sleep. He reached with his right hand for a nearby bowl of olives. The lamp-light flashed on the gold round his wrist as he reached. I saw the first part of the inscription: To Marius Cassius Viator, for displaying the highest degree of valor in action . . .

His movement shattered the icy stillness. Gaius turned his face away and coughed politely into his napkin. Julius slid his fingers round his wine bowl. He looked to my father as he drank. He smiled again over the rim of the bowl, and in the lamp-glow one would have had to look quite closely, as I did, to see the lingering coldness in his eyes.

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Crunching numbers

A big thank-you to all who downloaded a Kindle copy of His Own Good Sword last week! The promotion was an enormous success; as I tweeted on Tuesday, I gave away more copies of the book in the first nine hours than I sold all last year. Still more exciting, the book slipped several times into the top five of all historical-fantasy downloads on both the US and UK sites (and into the top ten action/adventure downloads on the German site). Here’s a breakdown of the final numbers, for those of you who are interested:

  • United States/India: 342 copies
  • United Kingdom: 150 copies
  • Germany: 34 copies
  • Japan: 6 copies
  • Canada: 2 copies
  • Italy: 2 copies
  • France: 1 copy
  • Total: 537 copies

Which means that, on average, more than one-hundred copies were downloaded each day of the promotion. Which is awesome. So thanks again to all who participated and devoted their reading time, and also to those who helped spread the word through retweets and Facebook shares! I hope everyone enjoys the book. (If you didn’t get the chance to download a copy, and are now feeling a bit guilty, it’s still only $0.99 in the US Kindle store; the paperback version is currently $7.19.)

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Thoughts on Luhrmann’s Gatsby

I haven’t seen The Great Gatsby yet, but I’m aware of the polarizing effect it’s been having on critics. Its detractors are quick to point out that there’s very little jazz in this Jazz-Age story, and entirely too much 3D. Its defenders—this Huffington Post writer as prime example—are just as quick to point out that if one dislikes 3D then one may just as easily watch the film in 2D. Besides, the rather anachronistic involvement of Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and others on the soundtrack complements the film’s mood quite well. One does not simply walk into Mordor a Baz Luhrmann film expecting historical accuracy, after all.

It’s a decent defense: this is Baz Luhrmann’s film, he can do as he likes with it. But I think another can be made. I feel the critics bashing the film for its lack of attention to historical detail are missing the point. The Great Gatsby isn’t a timeless piece of literature—possibly the Great American Novel—because it’s a window into the lives of New York’s urban elite during the Roaring Twenties. The Great Gatsby (photo: IMDb)That’s one valuable aspect of the novel, to be sure, but—at the risk of arguing authorial intent—it’s not the point. The Great Gatsby endures because it’s a window into our lives, particularly ours as Americans—the transience and meaninglessness of material culture, of misguided ambition, of faulty idealism. It’s not specific to one time or place. I don’t think our understanding of The Great Gatsby needs to be confined within the bounds of 1920s New York. Certainly the Twenties gave F. Scott Fitzgerald a ready canvas to work from, but the story of Gatsby’s tragic love for Daisy is just as relevant today as then, just as searing.

If there’s a problem with Baz Luhrmann’s film it won’t be because of the glittering visuals or the Brooks Brothers costume collaborations or the slick, overproduced, thoroughly modern soundtrack. None of those things compromise the power of the story—as the Huffington Post writer points out, they may even complement the story. The problem will be if the film forgets its own irony.